Nicholas C. DuVal

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[Verse 1]
Each night’s too long, I’ll think of you and won’t give in,
since I met you that’s the way it’s been.
Why is it that my greatest sin, is,
to be the one in love?

[Verse 2]
You’ve known the way I feel, I never lie to you,
 I don’t even know what good it would do.
You could tell because no one knows me like you,
I never had to say.

[Bridge 1]
Surely I’d know by now that it can’t be,
and that my love will fall to ruin.
Why is it that you’re still all I see?
You don’t want the love I shower you in.

[Verse 3]
I couldn’t change your mind, but I’m glad he can,
I know things can’t always go as planned.
I’ll keep my place and let you have your man,
I want what’s best for you.

[Bridge 2]
I don’t know what I’m missing that you need,
But whatever it is, I hope you’ll gain.
Time is racing way too fast for me,
but you’re well so I won’t complain.

visiting jupiter and dreaming of you
on this night I want to sail across the stars
and use each planet as a stepping stone
to stop for a moment on each
in an attempt to learn its secrets
to hear its melodies
to share in its experiences
 to know its memories
yet of the planets I know
that I couldn’t ever grasp their magnificence
or  know what they’ve seen in their time

I could soar through the cosmos in awe of its brilliancy
and maybe then I would finally ask myself
why, of all the stars, you seem to shine the brightest

why should my universe be centered around you?


Nicholas DuVal 8/5/20

an escaping lamppost
this street like all others has a lamppost a guiding light for its wanderer a piercing reprieve from the darkness in which there can be no safety and no certainty
by quickly traversing this street
you draw nearer to the gleam that leads the way
as you pass by faces and scenes
that fade into shadows
you leave bricks behind
one after another
what lies ahead is yet to be seen
barring only the ever-distant lamppost
the rest is still concealed by shadow
just the same as all that you’ve passed
you don’t ponder what lies in these shadows
but instead press on with your heart ablaze
not burning nearly as brightly as the far off lamp
of which reaching is all that you yearn for

maybe someday you’ll notice
that despite all of your journeying
you’ve grown no closer to the lamppost
and still lie in darkness
like all the faces and scenes that you’ve left behind

The only moment
As I sit here in wonder, the sky’s rich darkness brings with it a stillness,
but my feelings find themselves entangled in the wondrous vibrancy of the night
which I know in the warm embrace of the single lamp that shines for me,
and in the dancing of droplets from a fountain unwaveringly rejoicing.
Birds sound as they please, crickets make their presence known,
and here the wonders of the night bind to my being.
This is when my heart races against my thoughts,
 and my heart knows it will win - it already has long ago.
The commanding tranquility of the night means nothing in this moment,
time and tranquility both lie discarded and forgotten.
The darkness seems to be ever-fleeting, now conquered by quiet passions,
yet this moment still feels like it's the only moment in time.


Nicholas DuVal 6/7/20 Inspired by “living on air and love” by Malcolm DuVal, 2014

Each divine, passing night
Whether the quickly-fading darkness brought a delicate rejoicing,  or instead longing and introspection, as I sit and wait for the sun’s warm embrace, I think not of the memories I’ve made.
Perhaps I reminisce on a conversation,
on the traces in my mind of a now fast-asleep companion,
or on the way that - in that dark and surreal moment in time - only I could ever feel;
I’ve chosen to have a moment that can be mine alone. 
While others are sleeping my thoughts still breathe life into me.
For a brief moment, I find myself lost in the last few ethereal hours that are now dying,
caring not in the least for the morning that will accompany the sun.
Yet still the rising of the ever-present flame will soon quiet these impassioned thoughts, 
and just as quickly I’ll succumb to slumber.
The sun rises, and its light washes away my cherished, divine escape,
its power lifts from me these temporary feelings, and leaves behind my now-undying memories.
As memories were, after all, made.
I’…

Yearning, still
I don’t know why I still stay here; You don’t intend to keep me, do you my dear? 
Yet past you I still haven’t the nerve to see,
and certainly not the desire.
Somehow, as I talk with you once again,
I forget that I only want to be released.
Despite how much I yearn for my reprieve,
I still desire of you what you won’t feel in the least.
And although I can’t pretend that it’s your goal,
for you to remain ever-so-cherished while I’m stuck burning,
I wish that you wouldn’t make it happen so well.
Though I admit we both know it’s not truly your doing.
As obsessed as I still may be,
I know it’s not your trouble to overcome, nor one that you've placed on me.
For upon staring into my own blazing fervor,
I find that you’ll keep me, and I won’t let myself be free.


Nicholas DuVal 5/25/20

Her passing embrace
Though your gracious, warm embrace so loving
comes from you, so caring and kind;
It is befallen on a beholder most loveless,
whose own embrace won’t ever be felt like thine.
For though this shadow’s embrace you’ve felt,
our passions don’t agree.
Where yours are felt in passing smiles, passing memories
mine are felt in my past, ever-looming reveries.


Nicholas DuVal 5/24/20