Yearning, still

Yearning, still

I don’t know why I still stay here;

You don’t intend to keep me, do you my dear? 
Yet past you I still haven’t the nerve to see,
and certainly not the desire.

Somehow, as I talk with you once again,
I forget that I only want to be released.
Despite how much I yearn for my reprieve,
I still desire of you what you won’t feel in the least.

And although I can’t pretend that it’s your goal,
for you to remain ever-so-cherished while I’m stuck burning,
I wish that you wouldn’t make it happen so well.
Though I admit we both know it’s not truly your doing.

As obsessed as I still may be,
I know it’s not your trouble to overcome, nor one that you've placed on me.
For upon staring into my own blazing fervor,
I find that you’ll keep me, and I won’t let myself be free.

Nicholas DuVal

5/25/20